More travelling, than just a holiday
When my children were young, I looked forward to the days when they would be old enough to do a bit more travelling with us, rather than just going on holiday. Travel with teenagers can be incredibly rewarding, but I think it’s important to remember a few guidelines that will make for more enjoyable trips for everyone. Let’s face it, you’re paying a lot of money (once over 12 they basically cost as much as an adult) so it’s great that you’re now able to go on those adventures, but you also want to enjoy the holiday yourself.
They’re adventurers and are starting to gain a level of independence.
Unlike when they were younger, they know what they like and want to know the plans before you go. You could consider getting them to help in the planning process, which can be enlightening as you discover things or places you perhaps wouldn’t have considered. The other element of this independence is that they want some time to explore a bit by themselves while away. Obviously, safety is paramount, so that may well influence your choice of destination, but even if you don’t want them wandering around a city on their own, allowing them to go to the hotel pool for an hour demonstrates a level of trust that they really appreciate, and has the additional benefit of building confidence.
They’re partial to a lie-in!
In this respect, I am like a teenager myself because I also like a lie-in (my poor husband has gotten used to the slow starts now), but it pays to remember that you are still on holiday and much as we’d like to have everyone in the lobby and ready to go by even 10am, you can’t expect that to happen every day or they’ll just start to resent the activity you’re trying to take them to enjoy! Of course, some excursions require an earlier start, but the rest of the time, try to use the time to do something the kids wouldn’t be interested in or have a leisurely breakfast until they’re up and ready to get out and explore.
Try something new, but don’t force it on them.
There is something bonding about everyone learning at the same time and your kids will get a kick out of the things that they’re naturally better at too. All travel is a form of education as your children get to see and experience different things, so it’s a good idea to get them involved in something to experience that first hand. We tried surfing, but our daughter didn’t fancy it, so she got to sunbathe on the beach while our son showed off his skills, and I’ll floundered around with the instructor trying desperately to push my board hard enough that I at least caught one wave – didn’t really happen, but it was fun all the same. A bread making course in Fez was more successful (and amusing as they got us in traditional outfits) even if we had so much bread afterwards that we really didn’t know what to do with it!
Build in downtime and allow them on their phones.
I am not always brilliant at this one myself as I have a tendency to try to pack in as much as possible (you have to see everything don’t you😊) , but even if it’s sitting down for a leisurely lunch or time in the car between places, it’s important to have time to relax and slow down, and frankly it’s probably good for all of us not just the teens. That way you’ll all appreciate the activities when you’re back in the thick of it – we don’t want to be the Griswolds in National Lampoons European Vacation, cramming too much into a few short days!
Include some activities to get them off their phones and just being kids again!
On the flip side of the above, having activities where they can’t be on their phones and have to be engaged is great. Obviously, everyone is different, including your teen or young adult so, depending on their (and your) interests, you could go zip-lining, or try scuba diving, visit ancient sites and museum or go to a food market. Water is always a good option – snorkelling, kayaking or just splashing about, all require full attention and no phone. Last summer my 18 year old had loads of fun with his cousin on one of those inflatable obstacle courses…and why not!
If you’re trying something tricky, I’d suggest having an expert instructor.
Ever noticed how you give your teen advice 10 times and it’s like they can’t hear you, and then they hear it from someone else and tell you what a good piece of advice so-and-so gave them! Well, the same is true on holiday – let someone else be the guide and they might actually listen.
Lastly and probably most importantly…
Be flexible and lower your expectations.
There’s nothing worse than expecting something you’ve meticulously planned to go down a storm with your children, only to find your teens completely underwhelmed and unimpressed by it. We planned a day at Universal studios in LA (partly out of guilt that we’ve never taken them to Disney) and I expected the kids to be keen to try as many of the rides as possible. However, it was the school holidays…so packed, and July…so boiling hot so by the time we got there (see above re lying in) it was really packed and really hot and we only managed a couple of rides, before battling with the crowds and trying to find shade was taking the fun out of the whole experience. I am not sure I’d do much differently in retrospect, as it was a good opportunity to go while we were in LA anyway, but they ended up just wanting to go back to the hotel to relax by the pool. Just be prepared for potentially indifferent reactions to your best laid plans.
Travel with teens is liberating in many ways and it’s wonderful to have the chance to bond with your children as they become independent people with ideas, preferences and likes of their own. I hope these tips help you to embrace travel with your teenager and to make the most of every trip.
3 suggestions for destinations with teenagers:
- Canada. A West Coast road trip, with or without the motorhome, offers the chance to zipline, go rafting, spot bears and moose or even try you hand as a cowboy during a stay on a ranch.
- Island hopping in Greece. A bit of history, messing about in boats (or just taking ferries), enjoying the gorgeous scenery and of course the wonderful food – a recipe to make everyone happy!
- Costa Rica. Always a winner whenever I send clients here, it’s especially well suited to families with older children. You can walk on suspension bridges in the cloudforest, learn about the wildlife (sloths and monkeys!) or surf in the Pacific Ocean and that’s just for starters.
Writers from the Guardian have shared their experiences of travelling with teenagers here.
